India. It's a crazy, topsy-turvy, curly-wurly, contradictory bubble of mayhem - and I love it. Love it. Despite all of its kooky madness, India has well & truly won me over. It's been about 10 days since I checked myself out of the spiritual confines of ashram life - and what a 10 days it's been.

I was collected from the ashram by the lovely Ritesh - he & his business partner Chandru are overseeing my DJ bookings for me whilst in India. He travelled for the best part of 24 hours from his hometown in Bangalore to pick me up from Kerela to accompany me to Goa. And here we arrive at my very first Indian train journey. It was a fun experience - it took about 18 hours on the train for us to creep northwards up the Kerelan coastline to Goa. The train was huge - super long - and not particularly fast. We stopped at stations for about an hour on  more than one occasion, but hey...it's India...what's the rush? Chai & coffee sellers walked up & down the train "chai, chai, chai" "coffee, coffee, coffee" literally every minute. Then came the food guys "biriyani, biriyani, biriyani". Thankfully they paused overnight...and resumed promptly at 5am the following morning.

I was to spend one night in Goa before heading to Pune for my first gig. We opted to stay in Arambol - and upon first impressions I have to say I was not overly enamored with the place. It was a bit of a hippy overload for me - and it had a bit of a strange vibe. Fun place to shop (although the shopping was almost identical to Camden Town, but just hotter - and cheaper), but it just felt a little too much like a home from home. I wasn't really there long enough to absorb it fully, but that was what immediately struck me.

Next was Pune for my gig. A bumpy 12 hour bus ride on a sleeper bus took us there. But when your head is getting bounced around all over the place on the pillow it's pretty hard to sleep - so I meditated & tried really hard not to need to pee (there are no toilets on the long haul buses. Yes, really - although they do make the odd pee stop here & there...if you don't mind bushing it). The club put me up in a lovely hotel for the night - I had my first hot shower in a month (it felt amazing) and slept in probably the biggest bed on the planet. Treats. The gig was super fun - I met some incredible people - mostly friends of Ritesh & Chandru - and had a total blast. The next day we headed back to Goa, this time to the sleepy little town of Morjim, where my good buddy & fellow DJ / music producer, Pawas was staying.

Pawas has some good friends here in Morjim - Navin, who runs the beach huts where I'm staying - and Chetan, who runs an Ayurveda centre about 5 minutes from Navin's huts. They are such amazing guys - all of them. They have been totally looking after me, spoiling me rotten & making me feel so welcome - I am so thankful to have been lucky enough to have such amazing people surrounding me. Despite not really being fully convinced about Goa initially, it has managed to creep under my skin and I am slowly falling in love with it. At this time of year it's pretty crazy - the traffic jams are incredible (trust me, you haven't experienced a traffic jam until you've been in an Indian traffic jam) and there is a dark side to the place - but if you put your judgement aside & accept it for what it is you do find yourself having a stupid amount of fun here.

I've been treated to some incredible meals, have indulged in fabulous massages and have taken beautiful night time strolls along the beach. And yes, for sure I've been partying. I don't think I could have made a more polarized transition if I'd tried - from ashram to Goa. So far I've had one gig here - at a beachfront bar - which was amazing - I had the whole place dancing & fully impressed Ritesh & Chandru and the incredibly lovely venue owners, so that was wonderful. Tonight I have my second Goan gig at what I'm told is a very cool venue. Excited!

Since leaving the ashram I've been continuing to digest the valuable lessons I learnt there - and without a shadow of a doubt I can say they are fully serving to enrich my life on a daily basis. My meditations have become deeply profound, during which I've had some incredible realizations. I've always believed in the interconnectedness of all life, but the other evening whilst meditating I actually came to fully understand precisely what this means - it's one thing believing something, it's totally another actually understanding it. Since then, I have naturally found myself to be much more accepting and far, far less judgemental. Resultantly, I have been fully able to immerse myself in the here & now and relish each & every experience. I feel protected, safe & loved, wherever I am. I really do feel like the luckiest girl alive.

I hope 2012 brings you all everything you hope, wish and pray for. Never lose sight of your goals - focus on the end point & everything else will fall in to place. Have amazing new year's eve celebrations, whatever you chose to do :) xxx

This past week seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. Early last week I did a 2 day meditation course which was absolutely sublime. On the first day we meditated for a total of almost 12 hours - on the second day we were in meditation for around 5 hours. I felt like I was floating somewhere up in the stratosphere...I definitely was not inhabiting this realm! It has actually made me curious to look into the more intensive meditation retreats that are on offer - the Vipassana one in particular, whereby you meditate for up to 8 hours a day. It's just a thought for now...let's see where it leads. If the opportunity presents itself for me to try it out, I will.

Once I had finished floating around in the higher realms and was firmly back on Planet Earth, a small group of us decided to take a couple of days off from ashram life & we headed to a nearby - and incredibly beautiful seaside town, Varkala. It felt amazing to be out of the ashram and in nature - I literally felt like a bird that had been let out of her cage. It was utterly fabulous splashing around in the sea, diving into the waves (which are quite substantial I might add!) Even though the ashram is built literally on a beach we are not allowed to sunbathe or go swimming in the sea...you can imagine how much I've been itching to get into the ocean!

These past couple of days back at the ashram I've been sent back out into the stratosphere again - I did 2 different healing sessions in 2 consecutive days, which shifted a lot of stuff for me - and left me knocked slightly for 6! Then, on Sunday night, I received a hug from Amma, which again shifted a lot of energy inside me. Yesterday, once the haze of the weekend's healing sessions had cleared, I took a little bus ride to visit Rajesh & his wonderful family, who live in a town close by to the ashram. (thank you so much Stefan for putting us in touch!). I had so much fun on the journey there & back - taking in the sights & sounds (mostly tooting horns - it's incredible how much people use them out here!) of the Kerelan countryside. It's so incredibly beautiful - I can't wait to start fully exploring. I was so taken aback by everybody's willingness to help me find my way to Rajesh's hometown. People were literally going out of their way to make sure I was safe & on the right bus. And the hospitality extended to me by Rajesh and his family was absolutely wonderful. I will definitely be making much more time to spend with them when I return to Kerela after the new year!

Tomorrow I leave the ashram to head for the shores of Goa (from the ashram to the club...what a change that's going to be!) Despite enjoying my time here at the ashram I am super excited to be starting the next chapter of my little Indian adventure.

Oooh these past few days have been interesting!! The roller coaster of emotions continues to take me on its tumultuous ride as difficult aspects of my personality keep coming to the surface. This week I've been faced with situations that have consistently pushed my tolerance, acceptance, patience and compassion buttons - and pushed them hard. And the ironic thing is...I know these are the aspects of my personality that need the most work. I need to become responsible for myself in ways I have not been before - and learn to treat everything around me with acceptance and neutrality. I guess half the battle is realizing what you need to fix - now what I need to do is actualize the new thought processes that will help me to move beyond these issues.

The lessons came in the form of more difficult Amma devotees behaving in a less-than evolved ways towards me, which allowed me to (with a LOT of effort) put my rusty, creaky and slow to start compassion and tolerance engines into action. This was not easy, but it was the first step in making a change - and the first step is always the hardest to take. The second lesson came in the form of rushing to Amma's hospital to help out after the nurses walked out on a strike.

Apparently there were some disagreements and issues over low pay and the strike action was initiated by the communist sections of society (who, I'm told, do not like Amma). There was even a rumour that doctors from the other hospitals encouraged the student nurses at Amma's hospital to strike because their hospitals were choosing to go to Amma's hospital - which offers cheaper and better medical service. Anyhow, the how & why of the strike still isn't 100% clear - but the fact remains that the hospital was left without any nurses. I saw an urgent notice asking ashram residents to offer to go to the hospital to help out, so without a second thought I signed myself up.

After a 4 hour bus ride, we entered the town of Kochin, where the hospital is based. As we pulled into the gates of the hospital we were told to close the windows of the bus & turn off the inside lights as the strikers may throw stones at us. Wonderful. We stepped off the bus as inconspicuously as possible & as we walked to the hospital side entrance we saw the strikers yelling & chanting over at the main entrance. It was a pretty threatening sight to behold, but thankfully no violence occurred & we managed to enter the hospital safely. As we signed in, we were told that we were to work 12 hour shifts & that during our shifts we were to simply sit & be present & not move from the ward unless a nurse came to ask us for assistance. Our food was even to be brought to us. To cut a long story short, I ended up sitting in a small staff room in a plastic chair in Intensive Care for about 5 hours, and then ended up sleeping in an empty ward on a hospital bed. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life.

Needless to say, it was an experience that left me ruffled for a good couple of days - and I battled with my good buddies Acceptance, Tolerance & Compassion constantly over these days. I felt angry & confused - my faith started to wane, I stopped meditating & I had no interest at all in going to sit in the hall to meditate with Amma. I felt like an angry teenager who was rebelling against her parents. I did not want to conform to ashram life or anything that it had to offer and that was that. Hmm. Interesting. After spending much time contemplating (rather moodily I hasten to add) my experiences at the hospital, I finally sat down with myself and started meditating. I felt drawn to talk to one of the Swamis about my experiences - so that's what I did - and my word, did it change everything!

She explained things to me in ways that resonated so deeply with me that all the anger, frustration & intolerance I had been feeling melted away as the light of comprehension came flooding in. It feels so good to be out the other end of this little (wait...large!) lesson - and to once again have a smile on my face. Not only do I have a smile on my face, but I feel so alive and so in love with the world. Colours seem more vibrant, sensations more sensational - and people & situations so much more tolerable.

I've also spent the last couple of days on an Ayurveda course, developing an understanding of this ancient and deeply wise medical practice. It has helped me appreciate much more profoundly the spirituality of India - and the wisdom it has to offer. It's a fascinating science - one that treats the root of the problem rather than the symptoms - and it really heals.

I'll be checking out of the ashram slightly earlier than expected. I've managed to get myself a DJ gig near Mumbai on 24th Dec (yeays!), so I'll be leaving the ashram around 22nd to head north. I'll then be winging it over to Goa to spend Christmas and New Year's with some friends. I'm really looking forward to the gig - and to getting some party time in after this rather intense time of introspection and growth. I have another 10 days to go here...so there's still plenty of time for more fun and frolics on the Spirituality Express...I'll be certain to keep you all posted :)

I've also managed to upload some photos for you...hopefully you'll be able to check them out here:

http://www.dropbox.com/gallery/41172975/1/India?h=e842b4

Sending you all masses of love.

L xxx

The past few days have been a total roller coaster! I've been uplifted, confounded, dumbfounded, confused, angered - and everything in between! Being here - and being so immersed in meditation & spirituality is most certainly bringing a lot of stuff up to the surface for me to work on - and there's no two ways about it! It's wonderful - exactly what I came out here for.

On Sunday Amma, the guru who established the ashram, arrived. Whether or not you believe in gurus, Amma has been responsible for a huge amount of humanitarian work throughout India & the world. She did so much to help after the tsunami hit and has also overseen much relief and aid work in Haiti & New Orleans. Educating the poor of India is also high on her list of priorities and she has given many, many forgotten people out here a chance of life. It's amazing, awe-inspiring to see how much positive impact the vision of just one human being has had on this world. It just goes to show that what you can achieve is truly limitless when your heart is in the right place.

Amma is also quite famous for giving hugs. It is said that in receiving a hug from Amma, you are in actual fact ridding yourself of thousands of years of karma & freeing up your energy, thus allowing yourself to live in alignment to your highest good. To some this may seem a far-fetched fairy tale, to others it is a most sacred gift, bestowed upon us by a higher, Divine being. Speaking from personal experience, her hugs definitely have a very profound effect - and my gentle suggestion to you would be this: if you feel inclined to scoff at it, push your comfort zone & go see her the next time she's in London...then draw your judgement from your own experience.

I must admit, being around such a highly revered being and her followers is quite a surreal experience in itself. Some of the people here are so desperate to get close to her - to touch her or have her look into their eyes. I respect Amma & the work she does - and the talks she has been giving have been absolutely wonderful, but it does seem that there are many individuals who almost expect Amma to miraculously relieve them of their suffering. In my opinion, one can look to a guru for guidance, but the work has to come from within you. You are the only person who can alleviate your suffering - or to put it another way - you have to choose happiness. Needless to say, this is not always the easiest thing to achieve!

There also seems to exist a rather large contradiction between Amma - who's message is one of love & acceptance - and some of the individuals who have chosen to give up their lives and live in the ashram. Some of the people here seem to me to be miserable, despondent and incredibly lost. For sure, ashram life cannot be easy - and indeed, some of these people may have been running away from terrible lives, but I find it hard to fathom the dichotomy that exists between the guru and some of her devotees. I guess my viewpoint on this topic provides me with more matter that I can work on.

Whilst all the spirituality & pensive pondering is a pleasure, at times I do feel a little overwhelmed - yesterday I was ready to pack my bags & head for the nearest bikini-friendly beach, but I came here for a reason and I owe it to myself to stay, despite however much of a challenge it may be. In my own words, I did come here to pick myself apart & put myself back together again...so I'm getting exactly what I asked for! It was therefore a very welcome treat to take a break from ashram life for a couple of hours. I gathered a lovely little group of my favourite girls together & we took a short bus ride to 'Dolphin Beach' to sit on the rocks & watch the dolphins jumping around in the ocean. It was such a pleasure to see these beautiful creatures playing wild and free. We stayed to watch the sun set, then headed back to the ashram. I'm making some wonderful friends here - the sorts of friends I hope to have contact with for many years to come.

As we touched down in Delhi my heart leaped in my chest & my eyes flooded with tears. It felt like the very fabric of my soul was jumping for joy. Something inside me had obviously been wanting to make this journey for a tremendously long time.

Delhi airport was surprisingly pleasant - very clean with a wonderful aroma of incense - yoga hand mudras carved out of stone hung from the walls - and deck chair style beds awaited me at the departure gate for me to sleepily snooze on during my 5 hour stop over. The even sold fresh coconuts. Airport perfection. Liz was happy.

By the time I landed in my Trivandrum, I had been travelling for over 24 hours. (Well, I say travelling - I was mostly sitting down, snoozing on planes or in airports - not all bad when you put it into perspective). As I stepped out of the airport, the thick, humid and hot south Indian air hit me - and it was 10:30pm. Despite it being dark I tried to look out of the taxi window at the sights around me as much as possible: brightly painted buildings that had ornate swirly, twirly decorations: even more brightly painted trucks & buses: cars that looked like they were fresh out of a 1960s movie: lots of rubbish on the streets: palm trees everywhere. In my head it was like a tropical 1960s bonanza. Some of the local lads still sport flares. I kid you not. Perhaps my sleepiness from travelling had dumbed down my senses (or maybe he was just a super chilled driver), but I really didn't find the taxi ride at all hectic. I'll keep you posted on future taxi adventures.

We pulled up to the ashram (where I'm planning on staying until 3rd January) at about 2am and eventually (it took a while to find someone) I was checked into a temporary room. After a good night's sleep I checked in and found my room. Ashram rooms are simple & humble - but I managed to bag myself a room on the 15th floor that has killer views of the gorgeous scenery. The Arabian sea on one side, a river on the other - and palm trees as far as the eye can see. Not only that, but my wonderful (and very beautiful) room mate, Indira (from St Petersbourg - who's favourite colour also happens to be purple) has been here since July - and has already made our little space a home (with lots of lovely purple things!).

People here are,on the whole, wonderfully friendly. Already I've made some lovely friends from people all over the world - and I've had some very interesting conversations with some very colourful characters. There are a few 'ashram types' who seem to take themselves far too seriously, but hey, each to their own. I'm here to grow, not to judge at the end of the day ;) After being shown around the ashram, I headed to the temple for bhajan (devotional song). The atmosphere inside was so sublime. I sat down and absorbed the music, atmosphere and wafts of incense.

There are no frills surrounding life in this ashram. The food is simple and vegetarian, the showers only run cold water (to be fair, hot water in this heat isn't exactly a necessity!) and you are expected to wear simple, modest clothing. Every person residing inside the ashram is expected to do Seva, or 'selfless service' - in the form of chores for 2 hours daily. My seva is chopping vegetables from 7-9am (oh don't worry, I'm up at 4:30am for morning meditation, so by 7am I'm wide awake) and I have to say it's really rather fun! We all have a giggle and a chat around the table as we go about our tasks - and it's a really nice way of meeting people you may not otherwise get to talk to.

The ashram is set within beautiful surroundings. Coconut tress are all around us, and a sleepy, traditional little village lies just a short stroll over a bridge, on the other side of the river. It's very, very chilled. Already I can feel my mind slowing down. I've been doing a lot of meditation and it feels so good to have the time and space to really work on myself. So far, I'm loving my experiences. I'm very excited to see what the rest of my journey has in store for me.